I escaped an abusive home environment almost two decades ago. At the time, I only had $1 in my bank account. I still remember standing in front of an ATM, staring at the screen. In the beginning, I borrowed money from friends and relatives, which I quickly repaid once I received student loans. Technically, my account balance was negative. Student loans covered part of my tuition, but I still had to pay bills and everyday living expenses.
Since I was a teenager, I worked part-time while studying to help cover my expenses. Those years taught me the value of hard work, responsibility, and perseverance. I worked at Starbucks; I worked as a childcare assistant; I was a tutor; I worked at a bakery; I worked as a portrait photographer; I worked as a cashier at a supermarket; I worked at a greeting card store; I worked as a note-taker at UBC. I was scouted to be a model a few times and worked as a movie extra for one day. I worked as a greeter at a restaurant for one day.
I also regularly sponsored a child through World Vision to a point where the community was so established that they no longer needed my money. I helped support my maternal grandparents when they were still alive.
After graduating with both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree, I carried student loan debt, a line of credit, and credit card debt. I didn’t know how to get out of debt. I came to realize that no one could change my financial situation except me. I have been self-employed for almost a decade now, but that also means my income fluctuates. Thankfully, my income has increased over the past few years, and today I am feeling more financially secure.
Many survivors of abuse experience poverty after escaping. We often have to start from zero—or even from a position of debt and financial hardship. Buying a home in Vancouver, in a neighbourhood I like, once felt far-fetched, but now it seems more possible. I do not take full credit for it. I believe God listens, and I have received help along the way. I am a feminist, financially independent, and capable of taking good care of myself. I am proud of myself. It’s important to surround yourself with good people. They have supported me so that my dreams could eventually come true.
One of the secrets to happiness is to stop comparing yourself with your peers. If I compared myself to others, I might conclude that I'm far behind. Instead, I compare myself with my former self, and I often feel grateful when I reflect on how far I have come. My own progress is the standard that matters most to me.
The Widow’s Offering (Mark 12:41-44)
Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”
I didn’t wait until I was financially stable to give my money away. I helped others even when I was in debt. My circumstances never stopped me from being generous.
My mentality has not changed. If my grandparents were still alive, I would give them all of my savings.
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”（Acts 20:35）
I have been told throughout my life that I am generous. I am not naïve—I know the importance of money. But I feel happier to give than to receive. And I have the faith to believe that it will never run out, just like the story of Elijah and the Widow at Zarephath.
Elijah and the Widow at Zarephath (1 Kings 17:7-16)
Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. Then the word of the Lord came to him: “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”
“As surely as the Lord your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”
Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’ ”
She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah.
Fitness
During the first half of this year, I exercised three times a week for 45 minutes per session. However, I found myself dreading going to the gym because the workouts felt too demanding. By July, I decided to exercise seven times a week for 30 minutes per session.
Although research often recommends doing cardio exercise at least three times a week for 45–60 minutes each session, I found that I could not consistently adhere to that goal. This experience taught me that goals should be realistic and achievable for every individual. Whether the goal involves exercise, finances, or relationships, it is important to reassess and adjust it as needed to ensure it remains sustainable and attainable.
Exercising can be challenging, but there are ways to make it easier. For example, I used to tie a book to the elliptical machine or the stair climber so I could read while exercising. I've also seen people prop up an iPad or iPhone to watch videos during their workouts. Nowadays, many exercise machines come with built-in screens and Wi-Fi, making it easy to stream YouTube while you exercise. I like to watch travel vlogs and interior design of tiny homes.
Personally, I find working out much easier when I'm watching something. Others, however, prefer to be mindful and focus on their breathing and body movements rather than being distracted by a screen. Everyone is different, so the key is to find what works best for you.
相由心生
The sweetness and kindness we see in a person’s face often come from within. When someone is genuinely kind at heart, that inner goodness naturally shines through their expression and makes their face beautiful. Be generous—not only with material things, but also with your words. Give compliments freely and sincerely, because kind words can brighten someone’s day and make them feel seen and valued. On the other hand, if a person is constantly comparing themselves with others, being unkind, acting abusively, or allowing anger to dominate their thoughts and actions, those emotions can gradually become reflected in their expressions and even in the lines on their face. This is not superstition; it is simply a natural reaction to the way we live and feel. When you are always helping and caring for others, a certain light seems to shine through your face. Beauty is not about age—it is a reflection of your heart. The more love, kindness, generosity, and compassion you carry within, the more beautifully they shine through you.
To see your face is like seeing the face of God. (Genesis 33:10)
Studies have shown that some couples begin to look more alike as the years go by. Perhaps it is because they share the same life, the same environment, and countless emotions and experiences. Over time, the people we love may not only shape our hearts—they may even begin to shape the way we look.
Surround yourself with kind and loving people—not only because they can help you become a better person internally, but because the people around you can also influence the way you look and carry yourself physically. When you spend time with people who are compassionate, positive, and generous, their warmth can inspire you to become more joyful, relaxed, and radiant. In the same way that couples may gradually begin to look alike after sharing years of life together, the people we surround ourselves with can influence us in ways we may not even realize. Choose your company wisely, because the people around you can shape not only your mind and heart, but also the person you become.
You cannot buy a sweet smile, with jewelry, clothing, and designer bags. It comes from your heart. We find a lot of children and elderly people who can smile sweetly, because they practice kindness on a daily basis. Some adults have a smile of a child, just like their baby photos. Some adults lose their sweetness as they age. Some elders find their sweetness again after years of being lost in the dessert.
Thank You to My Readers
People often come up to me and tell me how much they enjoy my blog. Every time I hear stories like that, I feel genuinely thrilled. Through this blog, I've become almost like an open book. If you've carefully read all the articles, you probably know more about me than many of my friends do.
If You Would Want to Know More About Me, Here is a List:
The best thing about spring is the cherry blossoms.
The best thing about summer is being able to savour sweet mangoes at an affordable price
The best thing about winter is Christmas
The best thing about fall is my birthday
Hobbies: working out at the gym, reading, playing my flute, scrapbooking, taking pictures, writing, practicing yoga, drawing, painting, singing, listening to music
Favourite fruit: mangoes
Favourite vegetables: Gai lan, choy sum, bok choi, broccoli
Out of all the jobs that I’ve had, my favourite is being a psychotherapist
Languages I speak and write fluently: English, Mandarin, and Cantonese
Favourite place to be: home
Favourite city: Vancouver BC
Favourite book: the Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
Faith: Liberal Christian
My favourite clothes are from Forever 21, Aritzia, and Lululemon
Favourite restaurant: Din Tai Fung
Favourite cuisine: Chinese
Favourite Bible verse: All things work together for good to those who love God. (Romans 8:28)
Favourite library: Woodward library at UBC
Favourite coffee shop: 49th parallel
Favourite coffee beans: old school espresso
Favourite tea: creamy caramel rooibos tea
Favourite tea shop: the secret garden tea company
Favourite smoothie: Fraser valley juice & salad
Hardcore introvert who enjoys good company and public speaking
Favourite bookstore: !ndigo
Favourite skin care brand: La Roche-Posay
Favourite colours: pink, white, gold
Political stance: social democrat
Best coping mechanisms: copying affirmations and praying
Favourite desserts: cinnamon rolls and gelato
Favourite beverages: water, sparkling water, latte, mango smoothie (blending real mangoes with ice)
Meaning of life: helping other people, being a contributing member of the society
Dream: publish a memoir one day
Favourite flowers: roses, hydrangeas, peonies, baby’s breath, dandelions
I am a feminist. I believe being financially independent is important for a woman.
Maybe Life Just Keeps Getting Better…
We're only halfway through the year, yet I already find myself thinking that this has been the most wonderful year of my life.
I know that many people in our community and around the world are facing difficult times. They are in my thoughts and prayers, and I sincerely wish them strength, healing, and brighter days ahead.
As for me, I'm deeply grateful for how far I've come. I appreciate my own journey and find joy in the little things.
I hope we can all discover moments of gratitude, kindness, and hope each day, no matter where we are on our paths.
Affirmation: I enrich my life when I pause to appreciate how far I have come.