「人善人欺天不欺，人惡人怕天不怕。」
“People may take advantage of the kind, but Heaven does not; people may fear the wicked, but Heaven does not.”— Traditional Chinese proverb, recorded with the clauses in reverse order in 增廣賢文 (Expanded Words of Wisdom), Part I.
Wherever you are and whatever you do, you will sometimes encounter people whose words or behaviour are difficult to receive. Even when we do our best, misunderstandings and criticism are part of life.
Working in the field of mental health, I am reminded that compassion needs to include everyone in the room. A lapse in manners may call for patience; repeated disrespect may call for a clear boundary. Verbal abuse, threats, or signs of physical danger call for putting safety first, stepping away and seeking help when needed. Kindness does not require us to remain in an unsafe situation.
In Chinese, we talk about 修養 (self-cultivation or the cultivation of character). To me, this means cultivating kindness and respect within yourself. It isn't merely being polite when people are nice to you—it is trying to hold onto those qualities when an encounter is difficult. We cannot control another person’s behaviour, but we can keep working on our own.
No matter how many times you have felt hurt or discouraged, don’t give up. We do not always know what someone else is carrying. I try to leave room for that uncertainty, without dismissing the impact of their words or forgetting my own needs.
I am learning to stand tall without hardening my heart. I will not give up, and I will continue to be kind in a world that can sometimes be unkind.
Even when kindness is not immediately rewarded, it is still worth choosing. Stay kind, gentle, and polite, while remembering that your feelings matter too. You do not have to hide your hurt or accept every demand to keep your kind heart.
When I was younger, I used to cry whenever I encountered someone rude. Nowadays, it is more often someone’s kindness that brings me to tears. One of my mentors once encouraged me to meet rudeness with a little wonder rather than taking it straight to heart. I still smile when I remember that.
We all need a little bit of humour to get through life, not at another person’s expense, but to give ourselves a little breathing room. I remind myself that a difficult encounter does not have to shape the rest of my day.
Last but not least, most of the people whom I encounter are very kind and respectful. I want to leave plenty of room in my heart for that kindness, too.
“No matter what people think of you, always keep singing your own song.”—Author Unknown
So I will keep singing my own song. I will keep cultivating my 修養 (character and conduct). And I will continue to choose kindness towards others and towards myself because it reflects the person I choose to be.
Affirmation: I enrich my life by staying kind while honouring firm, healthy boundaries.